Tara cried into her pillow, the feelings of despair and sadness welled up inside of her. She wanted to be alone, and yet she wanted to be with him. She cried harder as her mind tried to make sense of it all. “How can love hurt so much?” The tears were beginning to smudge her make up, so she tried to stop. He might come back, and if she looked a mess… She cleaned off the remaining make up she can carefully applied that morning. Tara always tried to look nice for him, and now he’d left her. She heard her brother’s loud music start. Some stupid trance or dance song. All she heard was the boom boom boom of the bass.
Tara went to the window, staring out at the familiar landscape. The trees and mountains were just the same, standing stoically all over the valley. She wanted to kick down every stupid tree and mountain in her sight. Instead she lashed out at the teddy on the bed, punching it over and over. It grinned inanely at her through out the beating, and just as suddenly as the mood had taken her… It left, and she sank down the side of the bed sobbing again.
‘Some times I wish… I hadn’t met him… No! That’s rubbish. I’m going to treasure every moment with him always, whether he likes it or not’ she muttered to Bob through the sobs. She went to the door and reached for the handle. ‘No, not yet’ she thought. ‘I can’t tell anyone yet, he might come back…’ She knew it was a foolish hope, but still. No one had seen her crying, or the blank look on her face after he had told her. She thought that she might as well carry on and appear normal. She dropped to a crouch in front of the door and leant against it, still holding Bob tightly.
‘I remember when he held me tightly’ she whispered to the bear. ‘I just wish… I wish he’d come back to me and say that everything’s going to be ok, and that… And that…’ Shuddering with emotions, she started to cry again. ‘How many tears can one girl cry over one man’ she thought bitterly. Tara looked around her room through tear rimmed eyes, at everything that he had given her, at everything she had bought whilst with him, at everything she had shown him. ‘There’s nothing in here that doesn’t remind me of him’ she complained savagely to Bob, thinking about throwing everything out. ‘But I can’t… If I throw something and then he comes back… I can’t’ she trailed off.
‘Tea’s ready Tara!’ her Dad called up the stairs. ‘Tell your brother for me, ok?’
‘Yeah!’ she called down; surprised her voice didn’t sound that un-normal. She went to the bathroom and rubbed hot water over her face. ‘They shouldn’t be able to tell I’ve been crying…’ Tara murmured as she went to call her brother for tea. As she got nearer to his door, she realised what song he was playing. It was their song. Hers and his. ‘Oh no, I can’t do this’ she screamed inside her mind. ‘Larry? Tea’s ready… Tell Dad I ate at school and I’ve got homework to finish’ she told her brother through the door. She waited for the grunt of acknowledgement and went back to her room. The music switched off. ‘And so it ended’ Tara thought as she lay on her bed.
She stared at the ceiling. For a long time she lay like that. Just staring at the ceiling, mind racing with every thing that had happened within the last month or so. She remembered meeting him. Smiling she recalled his look as she and a group of friends pushed him into a pond. ‘He’d gotten soaked and had to buy new shoes’ she thought ‘although I did give him a tenner towards them.’ Even then she’d liked him immediately. Tara thought of when he had lost her eeyore balloon at the cinema, and how she fell out the trolley he’d been pushing. When they walked her dog in the country and touched an electric fence as a dare. How he’d tried to put her in the sea. Where he asked her out after counting the famous 199 steps at Whitby. When he’d actually put her into a bath full of water. How she’d screamed at him, stole his sandwich and he’d sulked. When she hit him with a hairbrush. Watching anime together. Discovering that going out with a guy could be more fun than she had ever had before.
Sighing she rolled over on to her side and curled up in a ball. He’d laughed when he had first seen her do this and then sleep. It was just something she did. Closing her eyes, Tara wished for sleep. ‘I never get what I wish for…’ she muttered starting to feel the tears whelm up again. Shuddering with suppressed emotions she remembered what they had said at school about him. ‘I would still defend him. I would still look after him if he needed me’ she told an empty room. ‘Empty room, empty life’ she thought and snuggled under her blanket. She heard her dog barking, and thought ‘I hope someone feeds him.’
She wanted to do something, anything. But what. Everything still reminded her of him. ‘Maybe I should call someone. Him?’ Tara got up and looked out the window again. It was going dark and she felt hungry. ‘Just as well I have a stash of secret chocolate bars and sweets in you, huh?’ she said as she ripped Bob’s head off. The Velcro was still as strong as the day she had bought it with him. Smiling as she poured out the chocolate, she heard her brother’s music begin again. ‘Ohh, I like this song’ she got up and swayed with Bob in her arms. The chocolate was soft and warm, but Tara had always enjoyed it more like that. She liked getting messy whilst eating and having a good excuse for licking her fingers.
‘Where did things go wrong?’ she asked the air. Shaking her head she reminded herself that the first sign of madness was talking to yourself. ‘But who else can I talk to? She asked angrily. ‘He’s gone and I thought I could tell him anything… That’s where it went wrong. I should never have told him about that. Never.’ She felt like throwing up. Chocolate and crying were not a good idea, she decided as she lay on her bed trying not to move at all. A headache began and she wondered whether it was the near deafening music, or the chocolate, or the whole situation.
She got up and went downstairs. ‘Just walking Toby,’ she called to her Dad as she put on her coat and clicked on Toby’s lead. The cold November wind struck her and she shivered with the cold. She dug out a hat out of her pocket and shoved it on her head and then found some gloves in the other pocket. The headache still pounded and Tara tugged Toby along, further into the woods by her home. Her nose was running quite badly by now and Tara hoped that whoever saw her next when she got home would think she had caught a cold and that was all.
Suddenly, she realised where she was. ‘The waterfall’ she said as she drew nearer. Her thinking space. The dog shat and she looked at him in disgust. Something always managed to foul up whatever she loved. ‘Come on’ she said as she tugged him away from the waterfall. Whining, he refused to move. ‘Stupid dog’ she told him. ‘Come on, if you come home, I’ll feed you, although I’m sure you’ve been fed.’ Still he wouldn’t move. ‘Are you okay boy?’ Tara asked wondering if Toby was sick. She moved towards him and he tugged on the lead. She fell, narrowly missing the dog poo, and let go of the lead. ‘Great, just great’ she muttered as she stood up and looked for where Toby had disappeared.
‘When I find you, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but it’ll be something’ she promised as she dug out a dog whistle from yet another pocket. Blowing as hard as she could, she hoped every dog for miles would hear it and come and find her. It seemed so much colder and lonely without another animal around. She blew again. Se heard a rustle behind her in the woods, and thought ‘There he is, I promise not to never threaten him again’ as she slipped the whistle into her pocket and turned…
Tara screamed. In front of her, was an 8-foot tall, scaly, horned beast with wings. She tried to run, but her feet wouldn’t move. ‘Please let me be asleep,’ she thought as she screamed again. The beast looked around as though looking to see if anyne had heard and responded to Tara’s screams and then stepped forward into the remaining sunlight. He, she thought it must be a he, had scales the colour of the falling leaves around him. They were the size of one of her hands and shimmered in the remaining rays.
His wings had been folded up but were now outstretched and were triple the size of his body and paper-thin. He had a long neck, and an equally long tail with what looked like a rattlesnake’s rattle on the end. He stood on four short dumpy legs, but with sharp claws at the end of each of his six toes. At the top of his neck, was a face that had filled her with fear, and still did. He had two short spiky horns just in front of his bat-like ears, with eyes that changed colours looking down his snout.
He opened his mouth and a set of pearly white teeth showed themselves to Tara and she squeaked. Gulping she tried to step backwards but found that she was already backed up against a tree. ‘You did call. Twice as I remember’ said a voice that spoke when the beast opened its mouth. Suddenly it dawned on her. It was talking! She felt her legs give way and she crumpled on the ground. ‘Am I… Am I dreaming?’ she asked the beast closing her eyes and willing herself to wake up. ‘No, Little One. You cannot call one such as I, if you are asleep.’ it replied.
‘Err, what are you? No offence of course’ she said hurriedly. ‘Don’t provoke it,’ she thought ‘not with those claws and teeth.’ The beast seemed to smile and Tara saw more sharp teeth inside its gaping maw. ‘Me? I am the one you called. My name is Fallen Leaf. Well, that is as close as you can get using the human tongue. You would not be able to say it in Dragon tongue, Little One.’ Tara was shocked. ‘A dragon?’ she asked. ‘Yes… Did you not mean to call me then? For if it is not so, I will get into trouble for showing myself to a human. Perhaps I mistook the signal.’ He said worriedly.
‘Call you? Yes I called you.’ Tara replied and Fallen Leaf smiled relieved. ‘Good. Now what can I do for you Little One?’ he asked sitting down on the forest floor. ‘Err, well my dog he kind of ran off somewhere and I’m worried he might get lost or something.’ Tara said wondering if it was the dog whistle that had called the dragon. ‘Dog? Ohh yes, one of those four legged house-wolves… Hmmm, let me look for him. You stay here Little One, it’s always safe near the waterfall’ he said as he beat his wings, disturbing many leaves on the ground. They swirled around him and he almost disappeared as he lifted slowly off the ground and swooped up into the sky.
‘Safe? Strange idea of safe’ Tara thought but was glad for a moment, of the creature’s departure. Then she realised it was almost twilight and hunted for a flashlight in her pockets. The sky was lovely shades of orange, and blue with fluffy white clouds dotted here and there. The sight made her feel so happy she sat on a rock and enjoyed it. She forgot her troubles and hummed softly to herself, just quietly enough to hear the birds sing their good nights.
Fallen Leaf scanned the forest for Little One’s dog and spotted it near to a large thicket. He hovered above the dog and looked for any evidence of human folk nearby. Seeing nothing he suddenly dived to where the dog stood head down a rabbit hole and grasped it between his front talons, being careful not to hurt the animal. He orientated towards Tara and flew back. Again he heard her calling out, not from feeling hurt this time, but in joy. ‘Just like it used to be in ages gone. But there still remains a twinge of sadness’ he murmured to the dog.
Tara heard the dragon land and turned towards him. ‘That’s Toby’ she said as she reached for the dogs lead. ‘Thank you’ she said. ‘You don’t know what you are, do you?’ Fallen Leaf said as it cocked its head to one side. ‘Huh? I’m a human girl… Aren’t I? Tara replied. ‘Yes… But that’s not all. Little One, you are a dragon singer.’ Silence was all the answer Fallen Leaf received. Tara blinked and then blinked again. ‘I didn’t think you knew. Well, know you do,’ He sighed.
‘Okay. What’s a dragon singer? And why do you keep calling me Little One? I’m not that short.’ Tara asked getting angry at not understanding. ‘That Little One is something all dragons and birds are brought up knowing from when they are hatched. But I can hear your getting angrier so I’ll hurry up and tell you. A dragon singer is simply someone whose thoughts and feelings can be displayed for all winged folk to hear, should the singer choose to. However, you, Little One, do not know how to control this process so only your strongest emotion is displayed for all to hear. So at the moment I can hear your frustration at me. But I am trying my hardest to explain. ‘Little One’ is simply a term of affection for someone of close kin. Since you are obviously not a dragon, and I am not human, it is used in this sense as a bond that I will look after you. You still don’t understand, do you?’ Fallen Leaf said as he sat down and rounded up like a cat into a ball.
‘I do that!’ Tara exclaimed. ‘And how did I get to be a ‘dragon singer’? And why do birds hear me as well? How do I control this process?’ Fallen Leaf smiled and replied ‘Yes, many famous dragon singers do tend to adopt dragon traits unknowingly. You also have many questions, little time. But I will try to answer them all. You do not ‘get to be’ a dragon singer. You either are, or you are not. In your case, it is likely that your relatives have all been dragon singers and that you are just the strongest of them all so far. It is possible with genetics and with dragon singers normally choosing other dragon singers to be with. As for your next question, birds and dragons are related. It goes back in time to the age of the dinosaurs. Birds evolved from dinosaurs alongside us dragons. We tried to help the dinosaurs escape from the meteorite and we managed to save a couple of species but most could not understand us. We managed to save the creature you call ‘The Loch Ness Monster’ and her family, as well as several you have not found out about yet. I believe it was easier to talk to the water dinosaurs than the land ones back then.’
‘You weren’t there then?’ Tara asked. Laughing so much that the earth began to quiver around Fallen Leaf he replied ‘No Little One. I was not there. I am not that old. Only five centuries and a half. No dragon alive now knows the account first hand, but it is believed to be important to teach all dragons about our history, should the time come again when we need to use it.’ ‘It’s the same at school’ Tara said with a grimace, ‘but it’s not nearly as interesting as actually rescuing dinosaurs from extinction.’ ‘No, I don’t suppose that your history would appear to be so, to humans,’ Fallen Leaf replied standing up to his feet. ‘And now Little One, you should return to your family, they are worried about you. You should also be able to sense them. I will give you a lift as far as I dare and then you must walk from there.’
‘Huh? How?’ Tara asked, thinking she was asking this question a lot recently. ‘You can ride on my back. Dragon singer privilege, you know’ Fallen Leaf said. ‘But Toby…’ Tara began. ‘He can be carried in my front talons. Its perfectly safe,’ He assured her. Tara walked forward. Then she stopped ‘What exactly do dragons eat?’ she asked feeling nervous again. Smiling again, Fallen Leaf said ‘Rocks. It’s a common misconception because of our sharp teeth, but that’s because wee need strong teeth to eat the rocks.’ ‘Ohh,’ Tara replied feeling foolish and started to climb onto his back.
Tara felt the lurch as Fallen Leaf managed to get off the ground and peeked out of one of her tightly closed eyes. She felt her stomach roll as she saw they were above the forest. They skimmed over the tops of the trees, and Tara could almost of reached out and grabbed any of the leaves, had she the courage to loosen her grip on the dragon. Chuckling, He turned his head and shouted above the roar of his wings, ‘Is it not fun to fly Little One?’ Tara felt battered by the wind and her auburn hair whipped her face, but she shouted back through chattering teeth, ‘Yes, it is.’ She saw her home in the distant with the lights beaming through the darkness that surrounded it. She smiled and began to loose the sick feeling, as she relaxed.
‘Thank you’ she said as she kissed the dragons face. He seemed to blush and stammered ‘Any time, Little One.’ Tara grinned. She had enjoyed flying a lot, even if Toby had been terrified and whimpering throughout most of the trip. ‘Poor thing’ she murmured as she lent over and scratched his ears. ‘When will I see you again?’ Tara asked looking up and seeing nothing there. She spun round and called ‘Fallen Leaf?’ Sighing, she began to walk up to the house, and then stopped just in front of the door. ‘I will see you again. Soon.’ Tara opened the door and the warmth enveloped her. ‘Dad? I’m home!’ she called as she stepped over the threshold.
Tara let Toby off the lead and watched him scurry away to the kitchen. Feeling hungry, she followed him and helped herself to a beef sandwich. Carrying the plate and a glass of coke, she climbed up the stairs and went into her room. Tara placed the plate on her bed and turned on her bedside light. Munching, she realized that she had forgotten about David for over an hour. ‘I’ll call Fallen Leaf tomorrow’ she thought as she yawned and curled up under the covers.
———
The sun shone down but failed to warm the day, and Tara’s breath was as misty as if it had snowed. She had met Fallen Leaf many times and Tara remembered when he’d taken her to the mountains and they had had a snowball fight. Tara had won, but that was mainly because she was smaller and ha d hands. Smiling, she shifted the bag on her back to the other shoulder. Nearly at the water fall, Tara began to call Fallen Leaf, she blanked out the sounds of everything around her and brought up the image of the dragon in her mind and whispered ‘Fallen Leaf, I’m at the waterfall, meet me.’
A whoosh of leaves announced the arrival of Fallen Leaf. ‘A good morning to you, Little One. And where are you heading with that bag?’ Tara started to cry, and slumped to her knees. Fallen Leaf clicked his tongue and stroked her hair as she explained how she was running away from home. ‘It’s all too much’ she sobbed, ‘my brother, David and school… They want me to re-sit a year, and my friend’s won’t talk to me then, I’ll be in completely different classes.’
‘Hmmm, I see. Although I don’t. How is running away solving these problems?’ Fallen Leaf asked after Tara had let out most of her grief. She tried to think, but there was nothing she could grasp out of the thoughts rushing around her head. ‘I don’t know, I just… I thought maybe I could live with you and we could go somewhere…’ she finally mumbled. ‘Oh Little One, if only that were possible, but you are too young to be without your own kind… It will get better. I’ll always be here for you.’ He smiled at her, and she sighed with a mixture of frustration because he was right and happiness because he had said it would get better, and hugged him tightly.
———
Tara and Fallen Leaf talked for a long time, till the sun began to set. Fallen Leaf suggested Tara ask her teachers for extra help so she could improve her grades and even offered to help her with the history he knew. Tara began to feel better and looked up into the dragon’s face. ‘Thank you. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.’ Fallen Leaf blushed and wiggled unconsciously. ‘Time you were home, Little One’ was all he could murmur back. Sighing, Tara stood up and began to head towards her house, ‘See you soon…’ she called as she disappeared from view.
From behind Fallen Leaf a man appears. David. Clutching a broken branch he’d found on the forest floor, he approaches Fallen Leaf who is staring after Tara. David creeps up to the beast and wheels his weapon at its head. Fallen Leaf hears a sound and turns his head towards where David is. Both the pairs’ eyes widen as the branch makes contact with Fallen Leaf’s head. As David watched the dragon slump to the ground unconscious, he raises the broken branch and with a sickening crunch smashes it down on Fallen Leaf’s head as hard as he can.
———
Tara walked towards the meeting place where she had arranged to meet David. The sun was low in the sky, and the shadows flickered as the wind blew though the trees. It reminded her of Fallen Leaf, and she wished she had more tears for him, as she reached the waterfall. There sat on a rock, throwing rocks into the water was David. Tara glared at his back and then went closer. ‘There you are. What’s the matter babe?’ David asked, standing up, as he noticed Tara getting closer. ‘What’s the matter? What do you think is the matter David? You betrayed him, and it’s the end,’ Tara shouted at him. David grimaced and said ‘How did you…? I saw you, through his eyes…’ ‘Oh… Guessing you’re mad then?’ ‘Mad? No David. I’m passed mad. I’m There aren’t any words too describe how I feel So Ill show you how I feel and how you will never hurt me again.’ Tara pulled out her right hand from her coat pocket with a smooth flowing movement.
The metal glinted in the last remaining rays, as she plunged it deep into her chest. She gasped and then sank to the ground. Shivering she looked up into David’s astonished face and whispered ‘You can’t hurt me now And I may even see Fallen Leaf again.’ She felt her eyes close and she shivered and shook as she began not to feel the coldness around her. ‘Tara?’ was the last word she heard as she drifted towards the forest clearing where Fallen Leaf smiled and offered her another flying ride.
‘Forever this time, Little One, forever,’ he called, as she climbed on his back, smiling.
